OMGosh

Okay so I can fully admit that I'm addicted. It's true. I am fully aware but I have no desire to stop. Don't you need that desire before you can change? Yeah, I thought so too.

So I'm planning my wedding. No, I'm not engaged. Not officially at least. Yes it's something we've talked about and he does plan to marry me, but that's just not on the plate right now. For either of us. Even if he asked me today, and I'd say "YES" I'm just not at the place where I could financially start planning.

First: I'd need a job.
Second: I need my kids here. (The first month was a nice semi-vacation but that's long gone now.)

Since my first wedding was such a joke...okay I say this because when I decided to get married and chose my colors I didn't know where to go from there except, my dress! So I had my colors and my dress and I was good with that. The second I went out of the country to visit my Mom and Dad my colors miraculously went from rose and green to peach and blue. EWWW!!!
1. I HATE peach. Loathe it. Perhaps it's good as an accent color for certain things, but no, it was the main color.
2. Blue. I like blue. Blue is calming...and for baby boys. Well at least this shade was.

Ewww peach and baby boy blue. Yeah...so me...

Let's also add that a park pavilion was chosen. Plastic table cloths & silk flowers running down the length of...picnic tables. Ugly brown chairs from the local church, wild flower bouquets (ugly) for the bridesmaids (I have those??) in non-matching dresses, and a ring ceremony with an ice cream truck playing his little tune... Notice I didn't mention my hair, done by my soon to be mother-in-law that made me cry or that I spent hours curling it to give it wave to have her brush it out in seconds....Nope I didn't. Needless to say my first wedding and reception didn't reflect me at all. Truthfully I think that's why I've been obsessing.

I think it's okay to plan. It gives me something to look forward to. To hope for. To financially plan and save for when the time comes. It won't be a $$$$ affair because that's not who I am and I can't afford it. So this is me giving you fair warning that the next few...thousand...blog posts will be about wedding stuff.

<3 Mel